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Dating Tips

Cheap But Charming DatesWhether you're going on your first or fifteenth date, we've found 10 surefire ways to have fun with your flame — without breaking the bank.

There isn’t such a thing as a person who is a “great lover” with everyone. Phenomenal sex is, to some extent, about the chemistry between the two (or more) people having it. You might be someone’s idea of the perfect lover. But with another partner (even if you do all the same things, say all the same things, wear all the same things) the sex may fall flat.

While there is something to be said for sexual technique , and knowing how to talk about sex , a “great lover” is not in the moves or the talk, it’s in the whole package, and part of that package is something I’d like to think is a little beyond definition.

Even the definition of what is a great lover, can be slippery. If you ask ten people you may get ten very different answers. In a way, becoming a “great lover” is probably about taking things one partner at a time. You can learn things in one sexual relationship that applies to others, but sexuality is so subjective and personal, that you can’t always generalize experience, technique, or taste. One person’s sexual turn on may be another person’s deal-breaking turn off.

There is a very simple way to find out what your partners (past and present) think about sex with you. Ask them! I wouldn’t suggest doing this in the middle, or immediately before, you’re going to have sex. But pick a time and place that seems safe and neutral, be prepared to possibly hear things that might be challenging (and be prepared to take a compliment when it’s offered), and ask your partner to talk about what they like about sex with you, and what, if anything, they’d like to do differently.

The Best Places To Find Gay Men Finding Gay Love & Sex

Is there one good way to find gay men that are interested in romance? Unfortunately, there is no holding tank for gay men waiting to be paired up nor is there a magic bullet to finding your personal homo hero. But never fret- there are many good places to find gay men willing to date. Here are the top five:

5. Newspaper Ads

Everyone shuns it, but there still seems to be an awful lot of ads posted in local gay mags and syndicated papers. Though usually the home of men looking for special interest sex, there are a few ads from hopeless romantics looking for love. If you do answer an ad, be sure to take some time to get to know the person before a face to face meeting. There is no rush to love, so take the time to do your homework. Better safe than sorry!

4. Online Chat Rooms/Dating Sites

Are chat rooms and dating sites about sex or about love? Well, it's actually a little bit of both. Most chat rooms and dating sites leave it up to the seeker to let the general room population know if they are looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now. Clearly state what type of man you are looking for and under what circumstances you are willing to meet. Read the Safe Gay Online Dating Tips below!

3. Dance Club/ Lounge

There are arguably as many gay men that dislike gay clubs as there are that live for a weekend of dancing. Either way, for the party enthusiast, the club or lounge can be a great place to meet men. Couch potatoes shouldn't feel left out though, smaller and less intimidating lounges can also be a great venue for gay men of all types. And of course, if you can get past the blatant displays of testosterone "heterosexual" clubs are also a good source. Many homosexuals go to straight clubs with their heterosexual friends and are often easy to spot.

2. Everyday Life

Despite what the authors of children's fairy tales wants us to believe, there is no such thing as a knight in shining armor or a prince on a white horse showing up at your door to save the day. Of course, it is possible for you to secure a date with the UPS delivery man, but the likelihood of that happening is quite slim. However, the tales that aren't a lie are the ones about meeting the man of your dreams at the grocery store or the record store or the coffee shop or the car wash or the park. The list is endless. Gay men do the same activities and need to run the same errands as everyone else and the odds of running into one that catches your eye is better than sitting at home alone. This method is especially effective for gay men living in small town. More than likely you will run into another gay man at some point around town. Of course, once you make contact the next step is up to you.

1. Referrals

Referrals from friends, co-workers or family are hands down the best way to meet a guy. I'm not talking about the spin of the roulette wheel called a blind date, but an actual informal introduction arranged by a friend. Usually these begin with the standard, "I know this cute guy..." or "I think one of my co-workers is gay..." and end with "I can arrange for you guys to meet..."

Even if you are shy or don't quite mesh with the "referral," take solace in the fact that they have other gay friends. If you meet and it works out- great! If not, befriend them and network. Expanding your circle of gay friends can only lead to possibilities for romance.

Friends not beating down your door with referrals? Then ask them if they know of anyone. You'll be amazed at how many times you'll hear, "Now that you mention it, I do know a..."

Finding a Man

Despite these very effective places to meet gay men, it is important that you get out and meet people. That will always remain the best method to finding a man. If you are shy, take your time and ease your way onto the scene. In time, there is always someone for everyone. Happy man hunting!

Tip #1: Crawl Before You Walk

Take things very slow while chatting online. Take time to get to know the person and ask as many detailed questions as possible before committing to meet. Sometimes the person on the other end of the computer may not be who they say they are. Watch for inconsistencies or strange behavior. If you see any warning signs or just have a bad feeling about the situation, don't continue to chat with the person. Better safe than sorry!

Tip #2: Protect Your Identity and Personal Information

For your own protection, never disclose any personal information that a stranger could use to possibly take advantage of you. It's not necessary to always use a fake name, but be weary of giving out your address, place of work or other sensitive information.

Tip #3: Leave a Trail

We all go on blind dates and an occasional anonymous trick. In most cases things go well (at least safety wise). However, it only takes one incident to put you in harm. Should something happen, you can greatly assist the proper authorities by leaving a log of where you're traveling or telling a good friend the exact location of your trip. This may seem cumbersome or over-protective, but a few seconds of time is well worth your safety.

Tip #4: Get a Photo

Prior to meeting, be sure to get a photo of your date. Ask as many detailed questions about the picture as possible, including the date it was taken. Save the picture in an accessible place on your computer. You can always erase it later if his psycho rating is extremely low.

Tip #5: Talk on the Phone First

There's nothing wrong with having a conversation before meeting blindly. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they communicate. You don't have to be psychic to get a bad feeling after the conversation or to realize that you may not be a good match after all.

Tip #6: Meet in a Public Place

Picking a mutually comfortable meeting place alleviates tension and gives you an "out" if you feel safety might be an issue. Try to find a place where you can have a conversation, but with a lot of people in the surrounding area.

Tip #7: Map an Escape Route

In the rare case your date may follow you home or attempt to harm you, take a route different from your routine or meet at a location away from your place of residence.

Tip #8: Know His Sexual History

The best way to protect your body (remember there are OTHER STDs still alive and well) is to know the status of your sexual partner. Keep in mind that for unknown reasons many men lie about their HIV & STD status. Some warning signs are refusal to answer the question, ambiguity about the date of their last STD tests, ambiguity about the number of partners they've been with, and willingness to have sex without a condom among others.

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