If you're one of the many single gay guys around, one of your favorite past times might be cruising. This is our version of trying to get a date. We have some unusual problems associated with this due to the fact that we are pretty much invisible. I've always felt a little nervous about cruising guys in case they aren't gay. Probably because there's quite a few guys out there who would take offence to it and let you know in no uncertain terms.
We tend to hang around bars which are freindly to our cause. The problem with that is there are very few of these around and if you've been around for any time at all you'll notice that it doesn't matter when you go, there's always the same sorry faces in there. You know the ones. They have no life and have been with just about every aids infected junkie this side of the rockies. We just can't go to any bar, and try and meet someone nice to hook up with. It's risky to say the least.
Many of us prefer to cruise for our catch. So there are unofficial designated areas which are well known to be hot spots for us to meet. You probably wont meet anyone there that you'd want to marry, because many of the men already are, or have no interest in that. So if that's your thing, you may wish to try and gay friendly church.
The spots usually have some basic common themes.
- There's lots of trees and/or bushes
- There's ample parking nearby
- There's a good road system to make U-turns on without attracting attention
- There are enough people around so that the traffic we bring in isn't noticed by the average person
- It's relatively far enough away from homes so that the residents don't get upset with the traffic
- There is a long view of incoming traffic
- There are multiple escape routes
Cruising is best done during the daylight hours when you can see the other person passing in their car. The industry standard for acknowledging an interest is to flash your tail lights at them. This is also done in the parking lot. It's a great way to indicate mutual approval. You can initiate a flash, or respond to one, in kind. Repeat as necessary until fornication initiates. A lot of times guys, usually married men, will just drive up and find a parking spot in a secluded parking lot and wait for someone interesting to come along. They don't want a love affair, just some very quick action so they can go home to dinner or whatever. Feel free to park next to him, if he looks interesting. If he's interested, he'll let you know by a smile or some other signal. You can then take it from there. Maybe get out of your car and go talk to him? He may want you to watch him masterbate, or maybe try and make arrangments to meet him somewhere nearby. He might ask you into his car, so you can both beat each other off. There is seldom much, if any other sort of communication involved. He cums, you cum, you wipe up and go your separate ways. One time I parked beside a guy and he was just sitting there, aggressively beating his meat. He was clearly ready for anyone or anything to help him out with it. Naturally I obliged. He wanted a blow job. Usually the guys are very quick to cum. They don't want the risk of being caught and don't want to disrupt their routine too much. Maybe they go to the gym every day, but instead they are cruising for sex but have to be back by seven!
Very often the best action is not in the lot, but in a nearby treed area. At night, the guys like to play under cover of the bushes, and they are clear out of sight of the public. Also there is a better chance for escape, should they be caught. You can occassionally find large groups of men, all sucking and fucking each other, or on a slow night, you might be lucky to find anyone that tickles your fancy.
Problem cruising in parks or other public places is that sooner or later there is so much activity in the area that it becomes a problem. It becomes a behive of activity in fact, and the participants become so brazen that it no longer remains hidden from site of the public. Thats where the problems come in and so the cops get called in to clean it up. They'll usually send in patrol cars, and just have a talk to you, and tell you that they better not see you around there again or they'll tell your boss, but once in a while they'll do a sting and send in some nice looking guys with their shirts undone. Their goal is to entrap as many as they can, so they can haul them out of there and make them go through the system. If someone asks you how the action is in there, just tell them what they mean & you don't know what they're talking about. Gay guys don't usually ask questions like that. One day you'll go down and no one will be there and you'll wonder where everyone went. That usually means there's been a sting and they cleaned the place up.
I was thinking about this light flashing thing. It's really quite a good little technique. I thought why should we limit ourselves to those seedy little places which are so few and far between, and attract a lot of attention, and risk arrest? Why not practice the techniqe everywhere? If the light flashing works well in designated areas, it should work well anywhere! I encourage you to bring the blinking out of it's closet. Practice the technique whenever you see a nice guy giving you the look, no matter when or where! (So long as you're prepared to back it up with a one-on-one) Like, don't do it if you're on you're way to the church and have to be there in 15 minutes or you'll be screwed! That would make the whole system ineffective. Let's become more aware of the signals! Make yourselves visible to each other! (Hint - Look in your rear view mirror)
The general public is usually oblivous to the whole thing. The guys are too busy checking out the chicks, or thinking about work, and the girls are too busy wondering if they look nice and taking care of the kids. (Generally)
Could this guy be gay? This just might be your lucky day!
I've been very surprised to see the selection of men that are eager to play. In the clubs, you generally will find the preppies and such. Out in the real world you'll find bikers to olympic champions, and everything in between. My experiment actually helped break down my own stereotypes of what a gay man looks like. And don't judge a book by it's cover. Often the junkier the wheels, the hunkier the meals!
Another way guys meet is in the cubicles or urinals in the public bathrooms (In Canada we call them washrooms. Bathrooms is too graphic for our puritan minds to cope) If you hang around in front of a urinal long enough, sooner or later someone is going to come up beside you and take a leak. Usually they will either quickly get on with their business, and make a mad dash out the door to continue on with their business. If his approach is right, you can stand back a little and let him have a good view of what you have to offer. Obviously, you'd have to do it in such a way as to invite a look without seeming downright crude about it. This usually works best in fairly busy washrooms where there's a good volume of guys coming in and out. I guess it's a numbers game and most of the gay guys who come in just have to take a leak and haven't the time or expectation of sex. That goes the same for bi guys or straights who might otherwise very occassionally want to come in just for a quick blow.
Another technique and probably more popular one to find a nice quiet stall in a public bathroom. The best bathrooms for this is to find a bathroom which is quite quiet except for cruising traffic. Very often there is a few stalls at the back, a long way from the door. While you're waiting you can check out the graffitti in the stall. It is usually a pretty good indicator of "who stops here" and what their thoughts are of. Very often there quite a bit of dried up cum. Most guys, like dogs, tend to mark their territory. You can run your finger on the cum, and even try to smell or taste it if you're so inclined. Occassionally you'll find a fresh load either on the wall or the floor. I'd recommend that you clean up your messes, so that the clean up person isn't so inclined to notify security. Once in a while you'll be luck enough to find a peep hole that you can watch the guys through. It's usually small enough and strategically placed in a high traffic location so you can see lots of different guys taking a leak. It's really very interesting to see all the sizes and shapes, as well as techniques for shaking it off. Sometimes the hole can be quite large, and sometimes the guys will suspect that you're watching and even put on a show, or jack off if they like to be watched. Be concious of the shadow and lights which could give you away though. Try and think of everything that might be unusual to an onlooker.
Ideally the door will squeak to warn you if anyone enters. You can look under the cubicle to see if anyone is approaching. If they take the stall next to yours, and sit down and do nothing, you're almost guaranteed that they are there to play. Most players will drop their pants right down to the ground, including their underwear. Watch their toes. If they are tapping their foot even slightly inside their shoe, they are trying to signal you. Sometimes the signal is so weak that you have to ask yourself if you are imagining things. That's no good either. Occassionally some pig will come in farting and burping and drop the stinkiest crap you ever smelled in your life, right next to you. Then he'll wipe once or twice and quickly take off without so much as washing his hands! There should be a law against that! If you do see a signal, return with a contra-indicator in a similar fashion. You can take turns in more advancing and aggressive manner each time until one or the other is absolutely positive that you are interested and ready for some action. Before you know it you or he will be on your knees doing the dirty under the cubical. Sometimes you can even go into the same cubicle if you have a shopping bag to cover up your feet and a coat to hang over the crack. Good luck and happy cruising.