Enemas can take some getting used to if you've never given or received before, and many potentially wonderful experiences are ruined because the giver forgets that anal tissues are tender, and filling the colon the first time can bring a lot of apprehension and discomfort. Be considerate.
You should also have an understanding of the other person's total sexuality. Enemas are one part of a much larger picture. If your partner is a woman, what really turns her on (assuming your interest is more than cleansing)? How can you bring her pleasure? If she wants to give, (and you're a guy), is she turned on by the dominance and control she feels? Are you willing to relinquish that part of yourself? What does she want to do AFTER the enema? Have sex? Be caressed? Spank you? If you're a guy, and you wish to introduce this to your girlfriend, think of *her* first. How does she react to anal stimulation? Is she opposed to any "backdoor" play? If so, an attempt to introduce her to enemas is probably bound to fail. An enema is quite embarrassing, unless you're used to it. You expose a very private part of your anatomy and passively receive what your partner wishes to give. It can also be scary. What if he won't stop when I'm full? What if I leak all over? What about the cramping? All sorts of questions crowd into the mind, and make it hard to say "Yes" to your partner when they come and propose an enema as part of your sex life. There are also some people who really DO NOT like anal stimulation. Those people are not good candidates for enemas. So broach the subject in the general context of anal stimulation and pleasure, if that turns them on. If the control and domination aspects of your sex life are something they wish to explore, an enema is a tremendous way to show that you are "in control" of your partner. They have to submit--to bare their arse and LET you do this to them, which means you have control. By the way, after you get started, and you've given your partner a few enemas (if control is your "bag"), it's a great idea for them to come home and find the bag lying on the bed with written instructions as to the temperature, amount and type of solution, so that they can fill the bag and get everything ready for you to give to the enema--and a set of orders regarding how they are to position themselves for your arrival.
Receiving Your First Enema
People I've talked to tell me that enemas take a certain amount of "getting used to" before they actually provide the turn-on that I've described. So be patient. Most folks also tell me that their first enema was not all that pleasant. Here are some pointers to help you enjoy receiving from the very first moment.
- A comfortable, not too-threatening position. The "Arse in the Air" position is probably not the best for a first enema. I suggest that you lie on your side, bottom leg slightly bent, top leg drawn to your chest. This exposes the anal area and (in women) the genitals, yet it doesn't seem quite so "out there" as with your bottom in the air and your face on the pillow. An alternative position (and one favoured by a friend of mine) is over-the-lap. It's a bit more difficult to relax that way, but your partner can massage your back as the enema progresses. You can position yourself between your partner's knees so your belly is not compressed, and it gives your partner good access to your anus without exposing you quite as thoroughly as some other positions.
- A well-lubricated anus. I believe that an oil-based lubricant ought to be used for enemas, unless the nozzle or tube that you use is rubber (oils destroy rubber); K-Y and other water-based lubes tend to make the anus sore after you expel. I also suggest "prelubricating" the anus and rectum with generous amounts of lubricant (Vaseline, cold cream). Have your partner use their finger and massage the anal area a bit with the lubricant and work some of it up inside. Then when the nozzle is inserted in you, your anus will relax and admit it much easier.
- As your partner begins to insert the nozzle, try to relax. A couple deep breaths as the nozzle moves past the anal sphincter and into the rectum often helps. If you're using an anal catheter nozzle, or other larger nozzle, your partner should perform the insertion in several stages. First the "easy part," then let you rest for a few seconds, then slooowwlly inserting the "bag" part, then let you rest again before inflating the bag inside of you.
- When the water is turned on, mentally open yourself to receive it. Imagine your colon and rectum relaxed and accepting, ready to be filled. I don't know why, but the main problem with enemas seems to be panic. It may be the size of the bag, or the idea that "this is going to hurt real good," or some such thing, but if you just relax and receive the water as it flows into you, the enema will not cause nearly as much cramping, and will probably feel OK from the very first moment. As the cramps come (and they will, especially if you've never had an enema), massage your abdomen and do the deep breathing I recommended for the insertion process. Don't panic. The adult colon can receive up to 4 quarts of water, and I've given full 2-quart enemas to women who were just barely 5 ft. tall and quite slim. I know that these women could have taken more than I gave them without major discomfort. So don't panic. If you feel you have to go immediately, ask your partner to stop the flow for a few moments so that your colon can relax.
- As the enema is finished, maintain a relaxed position and attempt to hold it for a few minutes, if you can. Try to relax yourself by letting your belly bulge out and continue to take some deep breaths from time to time.
Notes For The Giver
The giver has a great deal of responsibility. They have to see that their partner enjoys (or at least tolerates) a process that is often embarrassing and unpleasant. Your job can be much easier if you'll do the following things:
- As you lubricate your partner's anus: lift the upper "cheek" until the anus is stretched open just a bit. You should be able to see the "entry point" for your finger. Next, put the tip of your lubricated finger against the centre of your partner's "rosebud;" gently press in. Your finger should begin to slide in (especially if you are at the right spot). Continue to press, and let your finger enter your partner's anus slowly. Be gentle.
- As you insert the nozzle: follow the same instructions I've given for your finger. A properly placed nozzle does not need to be forced in. A gentle pressure against the anal opening is all that's needed, and the nozzle should slide right in.
- Be sure that the bag is not hung too high, usually about 16" but no more than 3 ft. max above the anus, and that the water is very warm (you should be able to just barely hold your hand in it).
- Open the clamp slowly. Don't try to give her the entire enema without stopping, and be sensitive to your partner's needs. I always suggest that the enema is given with them lying on their side and you seated behind them so that you can manipulate the nozzle and the clamp that adjusts the flow. Sometimes massaging the belly helps as the water flows in. If they are really full of faecal matter (shit...), just give half the bag, refill after they expel, and give the entire bag the second time. Always remember that this is supposed to be enjoyable for both of you, even if the "scene" you're playing is punishment, so talk them through the hard parts. Use the clamp to regulate the flow so that the enema doesn't flow in too fast. A well-given enema can take as much as 15 minutes to inject.
- When the enema is all in, help her up (leave the nozzle in), and follow your partner into the bathroom. Then remove the nozzle when they are seated on the toilet.
- Cleanup should be minimal. Disposable latex gloves are nice to have on hand for this.
- Rinse the enema bag and tip with a 10% solution of bleach in case any backflow occurred.
- Some like to pour boiling water over the enema tip itself. Hang the bag to dry so no mold grows in it.
- Don't use it for douching and do NOT share your enema bag with your best friend, no matter how close you are.
Definition: The insertion of the hand and/or arm into the anal/rectal cavity.
Why do It:
- Feelings of closeness between top (fister) and bottom (fistee).
- Incredible sensations for both top and bottom (pain games)
It is quite feasible for a newbie to go straight into a fisting if they are aleady pyschologically prepared for the event. Some Tops, however, might prefer to "train" by getting the fistee to wear butt plugs and increasing the size of butt plug over the weeks prior to the proper fisting. This can add a feeling of anticipation and help in the psychological preparation.
- A clean rectum 0 An enema is recommended about 30mins before fisting is attempted, some also fast 12 hours previously
- Lubricant - KY is suitable although Liquid Silk/Boy Butter is much better
- Latex examination gloves (double pair). Always use gloves as infection is a risk as some blood is inevitable as well as faecal matter
- Short nails for the top - The anal cavity although stronger than most guides will suggest can be punctured via sharp objects. Trip to the hospital will result.
- Poppers (Amyl or Butyl Nitrate) - These can be very helpful in relaxing the fistee's demeanour and certainly add to the experience, there is some anecdotal evidence to suggest it helps relaxes the anal opening (sphincter muscle).
Note: Poppers were originally designed to help people with Angina (Heart Disease) and the following precautions should be taken: a) they should not be used if the parties have heart or circulation issues, b) If there is decreased lung function, especially in the fistee, then they should not be used as they affect the bloods ability to carry oxygen.
If the fistee uses an inhaler they are definitely not to be used and if an asthma attack commences the reliever (ventolin) will NOT stop the symptoms although a joint (cannabis) will alleviate the symptoms.
6. PositionsWhatever is comfortable for the fistee. Personally I find it easier if the fistee is on their back but on all on fours is also quite common. The fistee must be comfortable and able to relax is the only rule.
- Lube up both hand and anus
- Start with one finger, gently teasing the muscle to relax, then add fingers slowly until all five fingers are accepted with no severe discomfort.
- Slowly start to push the whole hand (fingers extended, thumb tucked across palm) inside feeling with your fingers the contours inside, it is quite common for there to be a change of angle (towards the spine of the fistee) as you start to move in. Note the base of the hand is the largest part and the fistee will start to experience the more extreme sensations, some encouragement/a sniff or poppers to the fistee may be required in order to relax - If you are determined to get in, then this should be ignored because providing the hand is lubricated then no damage will result (if you have already got all five digits in) and its just the final stage and once to the wrist, the sensations will abate.
- Once in then its what ever seems appropriate, its quite common to close the hand up into a fist up and start gently up and down movements (getting more rapid as the fistee learns to accept) or to turn the hand while inside (this can be painful).
- To Withdraw, hand should be opened (fingers extended, thumb tucked across the palm), and as before the base of the hand is the hardest part for the fistee (so again encouragement/poppers might be appropriate) and slow withdrawal is the order of the day.
Fisting is edge play in that serious injury can result. If the following physical signs are observed then the play should stop/be re-evaluated. Also damage may not be apparent so after the fisting session the fistee should be warned to watch out for the following after symptoms in the first week following the fisting. Although the below may seem worrying its very rare.
- Popping sensation especially when already inside and moving around.
- Blood - some blood is expected, but a glove covered in blood or blood seeping from the anal opening means a tear and activity should stop.
- Breathing difficulties (especially when using poppers).
Post session (Post 24hrs and within 1 week)
- Stomach or abdomen cramps post 24 hrs after the session that does not abate.
- Abnormal Temperature
- Shock symptoms (note it is very common for shock symptoms to be observed during or immediately after the session this should not cause undue concern.
Do not attempt to put anything (butt plugs, creams, anticeptics etc) into the rectum after the session as it will be too raw.
Go to A&E if there are stomach cramps a high temperature or anything abnormal in the post-24hr to 1 week of the fisting.
Issues post 24hrs are of concern under all circumstances. Small tears will heal with no real problem (it just looks scary)
Long Term Effects
From what I gather from the web and a surgeon friend of mine a lot of the long term effects depends on the type and frequency of fisting.
If done safely and infrequently (1 per month seems to be the general opinion for this) no long term negative effects appear to be likely. If not done safely then incontinence is a risk.
Primarily if there is regular trauma (i.e. tearing regulary - you run a higher risk in the long term).
The point my surgeon friend made was this - its like having a baby - the muscles are designed to expand to cope with it - do it too much or have excessive trauma then you'll have problems later.
However this article extract may be helpful, although it talks about constipation the points it makes are similar to the effects of fisting
"Constipation causes the muscles of the anus and intestines to stretch and weaken (the anus is the opening through which stool leaves the body). The weakened muscles will prevent the rectum from closing tightly, thus resulting in leakage of stool (the rectum connects to the anus). Weakened intestinal muscles will also slow down the bowels, making it difficult to pass stools and further worsening the constipation.
Chronic stretching of the anal and intestinal muscles can also make the nerves of the anus and rectum less responsive to the presence of stool in the rectum.
The ability to hold stool and maintain continence requires normal function of the rectum, anus, and the nervous system. Additionally, the person must possess the physical and psychological ability to recognize and appropriately respond to the urge to defecate."
stools are likely to become larger with more girth as the rectum has been stretched.
Occasional gentle fisting, where a lot of lubricant is used and the hand is inserted gently, is very unlikely to cause problems. Punch fisting (where the closed fist is inserted and rapidly inserted and withdrawn) or insufficient lubrication is likely (long term) to damage the ability of the anus and rectum to work effectively.
Note: It should be mentioned that non-gloved fisting is very risky for both due to HIV, hepatitis and other blood contamination risks etc.
On a personal note - I have been doing this for over 10 years with no bad effects apart from increased size of stools.