HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT THIS, LTHRBOUND!
As always, I must remind everybody that these are indeed personal opinions and are not quantifiable as fact or status-quo. However, this is what I expect from those into BDSM and what can be expected of me. Sight and smell are two very strong senses that have a lot to do with attraction... and repulsion!
TOP TO BOTTOM (head to toe, actually)
- HAIR LENGTH - hate to say it, but long hair presents some major problems for tops. It gets caught in clips, straps, tape and other means of attachment. Long hair is impossible to get into a hood unless it is in a ponytail - but a ponytail leaves a nasty lump in the back of your head that will get way too uncomfortable rather quickly when you're tossed against a wall and will pull out your delicate strands. I used to have equal length hair down my back and I know how it sucked during play. Ever had someone else's hair stuck in your mouth when kissing... if not, try it sometime and you'll know how nasty it is.
- SHAVED / BUZZCUT - OK, admittedly I've got a serious thing for bald guys - bald IS beautiful. If you have never had a shaved head you are missing out on the erogenous zone of the century. If you want the skinhead look, shave your head with a razor. Use a triple blade facial razor. Hair is easier to cut close if it is at least 1/4" long. Soak your head in a hot towel first. Use a thick gel-based shaving cream (preferably one that doesn't foam up but stays thick). Use long strokes and don't be afraid to apply mild pressure to the razor. If you get ingrown hairs or rash then shave with the direction of your hair. Try to avoid going over an area twice. Rinse the cream off with cold water (to close your pores) and apply unscented 100% aloe vera gel to keep it from drying out. Pure aloe is lickable, don't even think of applying nasty talc or tonic to your head. The patient types (or sharp phobics) might want to use an electric razor but it's not as close as a blade. For the short crop look - you can do this yourself with clippers. Go at your hair from all directions and multiple passes to get those stragglers removed. For military cuts go to a barber!
- HAIR PRODUCTS - the twinkie queer-eye look has no place in a playroom. Why? Well, one big reason: hair gel, mousse, hairspray and hair tonic soaks into leather. One sweaty head full of hair product will RUIN a leather hood. Leather is absorbent and will retain the smell and chemicals only to be released into the eyes and nose of the next person to sweat in it. If you think hoods aren't sweaty or you are not turned on by a hood with the natural musky aroma of the past 100 men to wear it - well it's time to turn in your kink card.
- FACIAL HAIR - beards, goatees and moustaches are pure woof! It aint sex without abrasion and the sensations that come from bristly hair are wonderful.
- MOUTH - this is probably the biggest taboo to talk about but fuck it. Here it goes. Nobody like the smell of dog breath (except for some nasty pups that I know). With some exception, most bad breath comes from your teeth and tongue. Of couse you brush, but floss and pick, too - it's good general healthy common sense anyway. Brush your tongue..hard. Be warned, though, that some health experts do not recommend flossing hours before you suck cock - as it inevitably breaks some skin. If you're a boy cruising, get that gum out of your mouth before you engage in a conversation - it's rude.
- CHEST HAIR/BACK HAIR/BODY HAIR - don't shave it off, especially if you are an uncollared bottom as your Sir will dictate just how much body hair is appealing or problematic and he will either direct you to change it or he will tie you down and shave you to his satisfaction. Now, if you are the missing-link top (and your cousin's name is Yeti) trimmed hair is very sexy but don't remove it - use a 1/4" guide on your clippers.
- ARMPITS - never, never, never ever use deodorant or antiperspirant! Smell like a man. Day old arm funk is a pheromone and works like poppers on a boy. Nobody should have to lick chemicals off your pits. However, week old arm stink is nasty. Bottoms should wash their pits before going out.
- COLOGNE - cologne has no place in a leather bar or in a playroom. You don't need it. Most leathermen find it offensive. It will soak into your leather permanently. It will transfer with your sweat onto others. If you aren't getting sweaty during a scene you might as well stop it.
- TOP CROTCH - hours-old crotch is also loaded with pheromones that cause sexual arousal. It's what mother nature intended. I call this fresh gym funk - sweaty, but not ripe. During your morning shower scrub your dick and balls good then go the day without underwear. By night you are ready - just take a shower with little or no soap if you feel sticky from the day.
- BOY CROTCH - scrub, scrub, scrub it good with soap and a washcloth. If you are uncut, keep your dick cheese-free until you know what your Sir likes. You should at least shave your balls and keep your pubic bush clipped short. Pubic hair gets caught in CBT toys and cockrings and will get ripped out by rope.
- ASSHOLE - everybody, top and bottom, should clean out before playing. Period. Unless you plan on getting fisted you don't need to flood your entire colon with water. Just fill and empty up to the first part of your descending colon (to your second sphincter). Repeat until it runs clear. No need to use soapy water in there. Leave that for experienced tops to administer as a punishment enema! However, scrub the outside of your anus with soap and make it lickable. Any water that gets far up there may come dribbling back out at the most embarrasing of times - so do it in the shower and get on your hands and knees (doggie style) so that any water that makes it into your ascending colon can dribble back out. Move around and then expel again.
- FOOT ODOR - do I need to talk about this? It's rank.